A reaction to being told to give up dolls

[Katie148]

I was going through some old documents on my computer today, when I came across this little sort-of essay I wrote a year or so ago about dolls. I remember writing it after a friend had been at my apartment and saw my dolls and their clothes all over my room, and felt the need to make disparaging and snobby remarks about my collection and how she couldn?t believe I actually did their hair and bought and made clothes for them, etc. I?m sure most of you know the kind of remarks I am talking about! I was so mad after she left that I sat down and wrote this to make myself feel better. I liked reading it again, so I thought I would share it with all of you, as I?m sure you can all relate. [img]smile.gif[/img]


Sara?s had a long day. She?s tired, upset, and worried. She goes upstairs to her bedroom and opens the door. In the corner, her dolls are waiting for her. Sara knows the dolls won?t argue with her or get mad at her or cause her any grief; they just listen attentively as she pours out her troubles while she brushes their hair and changes their clothes. She knows they understand. Each doll has her own set of problems, after all ? Josefina?s mother is dead, Molly?s dad is overseas at war, Addy faces racial prejudice every day. But even so, the dolls all wear smiles. They still know how to be happy in spite of their troubles. And now, as Sara puts away their clothes and hair things and puts them back in their places, she feels happier, too.

Many people reading the prior paragraph might assume that Sara is a little girl who?s had a tough day at school. They might feel her attachment to her dolls is cute and a healthy outlet for her emotions. But what would those people think if they were told that Sara is a thirty-year-old wife and mother with a full-time job? Chances are, they wouldn?t think her doll collection was so cute anymore. Sara would be considered silly and weird and would be told to ?grow up.? Her dolls might even be called a waste of money.

Why is it expected that a girl must lose interest in dolls? Why is it unacceptable for a woman to gain comfort and happiness from hugging a favorite doll? Once we reach adulthood, do we completely lose our imaginations and our desire to escape from reality every now and then? No. Adults go to movies. Adults read books, watch T.V., and play video games. All of these are forms of escape; a way to enter another world and experience the joys and problems of other people or characters. If it is acceptable for an adult to play a video game to de-stress and have fun, then why can?t an adult play with a doll to achieve the same result? Whether we are children or adults, we are all human. We all desire to have fun, to feel happy and safe in our lives. So why must we give up what brings us the greatest comfort simply because we are no longer children?

I don?t believe we should have to. I believe it is normal and healthy to retain hobbies from childhood that once brought us great joy. Playing with a doll makes me feel happy, relaxed, creative, and content. Hugging a doll when I am sick or sad gives me great comfort. Why should I be ashamed of that? What good will it do me to give it up?

I think that people who do what makes them happy, despite what society at large may think of them, show greater strength of character and deeper knowledge of themselves than anyone who might make fun of them do. I refuse to feel abnormal for hugging a doll at the end of the day, or thinking of dolls as friends and companions with personalities of their own. There is nothing wrong with having imagination and comfort in your life, whether it takes the form of a favorite doll or a favorite book.

P.S. ?Sara? is not supposed to be me or anyone else on this board; I just made her up to be a reflection of how many people might feel about their dolls. [img]wink.gif[/img]

[MareGathersWords]

I loved your mini-essay! [img]smile.gif[/img]

I know that we decide at some point we must "grow up" and be adults, but that doesn't mean we stop playing and allowing the magic of imagination to touch our lives. Then again, I'm a writer, so without imagination I'm up the creek without a paddle. [img]wink.gif[/img]

[wildpony]

Your little essay was so great, and so true.

[mayergirl]

In case anyone needs a comeback for those who criticize doll collecting (my friends think I'm cute and wish they had the guts to play with toys, so I'm rarely afflicted), the appropriate answer is to show them something along the lines of Felicity's riding habit, or something else rare that you proudly own (even Kailey, Lindsey or Marisol) and ask them the last time their hobbie quintupled its value while remaining fun to play with. That normally shuts people right up.

[AngieBelle]

Hear Hear! [img]smile.gif[/img] (or is that here here?)

I hate being looked down on for my hobbies- both for AG and my My Little Pony collection. Some people read my livejournal entry a while back about how much I enjoyed the Dear America cd-rom, and suddenly I got nasty comments about being only 10 yrs old mentally! Now, I'll admit sometimes I feel about that age, but that doesn't mean I can't be an adult when I have to be!

I know I'm preaching to the choir, but it is possible to love dolls and toys and still be a mature adult! I look around my apt, and it's so bright and happy (not to mention way too cluttered, but that's another story...).
-Angela

[southern_belle]

Oh people are silly sometimes. Like how many adults claim that sleeping with a stuffed animal is for children, and yet they hug a pillow for comfort and security at night. I see no difference. I like my dolls!

[Jane Hart]

I loved your letter. I think it rings true for most of us here at the board.

[HansenPC]

The old saying 'the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys' can apply to women as well!
As a child my parents could of never afforded the dolls I now own, yet I never felt deprived. Now I'm making up for it.

[Judy 2]

Beautifully written, and eloquently expressed! [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/rose.gif[/img]

Thanks for sharing that - I agree wholeheartedly.

Judy

[marymooget]

Our collecting and attention to our collections often provide an outlet after stressful days at work,stressful family lives and all of the other stresses that life throws at us.
I change the girls clothes or do their hair many times to relax,to get my head cleared and just because I like to.
I know that my collecting is not the most inexpensive therapy, but is a positive way of coping. There are many people who have much more destructive ways of dealing with stress (either to themselves or others)
Collecting can be a beautiful way for a mother and daughter to stay close through their lives.
So let the naysayers say what they like, I will always enjoy my collection.
JMHO